How do you tell how old someone is?

[notreallystars]

This brought to you by two recent experiences.

1. Someone from my Meeting who I often talk to afterwards and get along well with used the phrase "when I had my 40th birthday" the other day, and I had sort of assumed that she was somewhere in her early-to-mid 30s. Hopefully I didn't seem too surprised at the time!

2. We saw some of R's younger friends yesterday and they thought he was in his late 20s or 30s - he is actually 24.

How the hell are you supposed to figure out what age bracket someone is in as an adult? I've never been any good at it. I just seem to have a few fairly wide groups, and I'm clearly not accurate even with them!

Comments

[green_knight]

I don't think you can. I mean, I certainly can't - I have moderate faceblindness, so I really can't, and for a very long time I wasn't paying much attention to facial features.

But there has been a point five or so years ago when I looked at Prince William and thought 'How did he get middle-aged' because I sure as heck don't feel it (and mostly don't look it) and I remember when he was born! I think there's just so many factors - genetics, sun exposure, other lifestyle – that I mostly go 'young/elderly/somewhere in the middle'.

If you really want to know, get them talking about childhood TV. It's not perfectly accurate, but a better indicator.

[notreallystars]

Childhood TV is a good idea! I didn't grow up in the country where I currently live though, so I'm not always great even with the childhood TV of people my own age. Could look up the shows they mention afterwards though!

[green_knight]

My partner is a several years older than me, and we mostly watched the same shows: Dubbing just added those crucial years.

(I also found it useful to watch at least a little of unknown things that baffled me: they were not part of my childhood, but at least I now have a concept of Bagpuss and Thunderbirds.

[kitewithfish]

I get sneaky - I reference famous TV shows from a particular era, and see how they react. Now, in the age of netflix, this doesn't conclude anything! But, if you then follow it up with, Gosh, I can't remember the show that came on after that! What was it?, then they have to reveal themselves. (It's like dating an artifact by layers)

[notreallystars]

Sneaky tactics hadn't occurred to me, I think on some level I just assumed that this was something most people can just do. That's a clever technique though, I might borrow it.

[alexseanchai]

I mean, decent odds that the woman over forty, if she noticed your surprise, was flattered?

meanwhile, a few years ago my sister D stage managed a couple of high school theatrical productions. one of these, I went to one of the performances, and afterward one of D's friends asked how much younger I am than she is. …negative ten. I am negative ten years younger than D. and I didn't think it was news to her friends that D's the youngest!

[notreallystars]

Yes, I imagine it would have been neutral-to-flattering, but being able to not look surprised at things people say is professionally useful for me and I'm not sure how good I am at it.

That is rather impressive. I think I'd be pretty surprised if my sister's friends didn't know she was the youngest too.