notreallystars

Given how rarely people knock on my door it's quite impressive that it's happened on two successive days. It was raining really heavily when I opened the door, and the guy standing there said something about a gas safety check. As it turned out he had got the wrong house, but I was not doing great cognitively and I couldn't make sense of what he was saying. So I just stared at him, trying to figure it out, while he stood in the pouring rain. Poor guy.

I wish there were stickers for doors, similar to the 'Please allow extra time to answer the door' stickers with a wheelchair symbol on them, but for cognitive/auditory processing issues. 'I may struggle to understand you, please allow extra time for me to process your words'? Because this guy must have thought I was just being rude.

This brought to you by two recent experiences.

1. Someone from my Meeting who I often talk to afterwards and get along well with used the phrase "when I had my 40th birthday" the other day, and I had sort of assumed that she was somewhere in her early-to-mid 30s. Hopefully I didn't seem too surprised at the time!

2. We saw some of R's younger friends yesterday and they thought he was in his late 20s or 30s - he is actually 24.

How the hell are you supposed to figure out what age bracket someone is in as an adult? I've never been any good at it. I just seem to have a few fairly wide groups, and I'm clearly not accurate even with them!

R: Something in the oven is screaming.

Me: Yeah it does that.

This oven is new, it maybe shouldn't be doing that.

I'm looking forward to having someone I can celebrate religious stuff with. My boyfriend doesn't share my beliefs, but he's more than happy to join in with low-level rituals and holiday celebrations. I didn't realise until recently how much I want to do those things with people, but solitary practice has been wearing on me.

I want people to share holiday meals with, I want people to join in ritual with, I want community. I have distant community, but that doesn't help much with the desire to share in practicing my faith.

My boyfriend and I are moving in together in a couple of months, and for the first time in my life I'll be living somewhere that I can practice my faith openly. I can have a shrine in the living room, rather than tucked away in a corner of my bedroom. I can have an offering plate in the kitchen. I can have an ancestral shrine in a part of the house that I actually use. I'll have someone who's willing to join in with my holiday celebrations.

Good things come to those who wait.